"It's not what's said, it's about the feelings across the table." - Jean Renoir
For some time I was unsure of the what this quote meant, but I still liked it. Even before I fully understood it, it resonated with me.
Being slightly unsure when it comes to articulating, but finding relatability is how I determine what I find interesting.
That sensation is one of key factors in manifesting and creating.
It doesn't consist of a lot of thought or even feeling, it comes from the core.
It's a gut instinct that feels prompted by an external force. The only thing I am certain about when it comes to this feeling is that I must continue to pay intense attention and to ask questions.
That is why this feeling often times is so influential to how I create.
It's a paradox of sorts.
Over time I really have come to value that instinct. It allows the work to flow easier. I'm no longer in the way, I am not trying. The work is just something that is happening.
The creating doesn't feel like thinking.
All of the projects I am proud of that include close friends, family and sometimes, even strangers, have been carried by the gut instinct I am describing.
Now it has carried me to my good friend Chris.
As someone who experiences life in a sensitive and complex way, I see a semblance of that in Chris. Subtle details don't go unnoticed for Chris. They never have with him. I've known him for years and to me he has always been intrigued in craft and the process of work.
For a while work for Chris meant skateboarding as a means to stay away from home.
Which for many in our clique was a common notion. Skateboarding helped all of us stay active in daily life, explore new places and improve at something that is objectively difficult to get good at.
Using internal and external conflict in life as motivation, became an intrinsic part of Chris's being.
"I have to try and not become the person that my environment is trying to make me into."
For reasons that I don't know skating took a backseat in Chris's life.
I think that the outlet for self expression and improvement may have been inhibited for him during this time. As someone who personally has been in a similar headspace, there becomes an irresistible itch to create.
Create doesn't have to apply to art, and creative doesn't have to apply to an artist.
Creating movement is what Chris seems to be in touch with.
Skating resonates with Chris still, but boxing and mixed martial arts is what is driving Chris to reinvent himself in areas of his life where he has acted egregiously.
Boxing has made Chris more in conscious of his flaws and his decision making, which is something that many times we are not conscious of.
As vocal as he has been about changing his ways, action is the defining characteristic of change in my opinion.
When people say I've really been working on myself, I find that to be bullshit.
You are the way you are.
Before any change is made there must be acceptance. Otherwise the past lingers and our perceptions are clouded. Your past decisions and actions, may not necessarily be reflective of who you are right now.
You still have to live with the consequences, which is another great way of learning acceptance.
Trying hard or putting in the effort is sometimes looked at as a negative thing.
These statements seem cliche sometimes, and they can be. But I find it surprising how many people will pull back when they see someone independent doing something new, someone being themselves or bettering themselves.
Pay attention to chose who aren't clapping for you, because it can say a lot.
Not about you, but about them.
"There is nothing in this world that does not have a decisive moment." -Henri Cartier Bresson